Indexbit-Why Emilia Clarke Feared She Would Get Fired From Game of Thrones After Having Brain Aneurysms

Emilia Clarke is Indexbitreflecting on her harrowing health journey. 

Five years after sharing she suffered two brain aneurysms during the early years filming Game of Thrones, the actress gave insight into her mentality during that difficult time, including her fear that she would lose the role of Daenerys Targeryen. 

"When you have a brain injury, because it alters your sense of self on such a dramatic level, all of the insecurities you have going into the workplace quadruple overnight," Emilia explained in a Big Issue interview published June 10. "The first fear we all had was: ‘Oh my God, am I going to get fired? Am I going to get fired because they think I'm not capable of completing the job?'"

The 37-year-old, noted that when her first aneurysm—which led to a stroke and subarachnoid hemorrhage—occurred between filming season one and season two of the show, she was determined to return to work swiftly. And she was back on set within weeks. As she put it, "Well, if I'm going to die, I better die on live TV."

And while Emilia, who starred on the HBO drama from its premiere in 2011 until it signed off in 2019 after eight seasons, kept her role throughout her medical emergencies, it wasn't easy. In fact, there were many times she felt her affliction had taken her ability to act from her. 

"Having a chronic condition that diminishes your confidence in this one thing you feel is your reason to live is so debilitating and so lonely," Emilia continued. "One of the biggest things I felt with a brain injury was profoundly alone. That is what we're trying to overcome."

Still, she persisted, and learned a lot from it. In fact, the Me Before You star noted, "It has given me a superpower."

The Solo alum first detailed balancing a serious health scare with her burgeoning career in a heartfelt 2019 essay.  

"I felt like a shell of myself," Emilia recalled of the initial months of treatment in her piece for the The New Yorker. "So much so that I now have a hard time remembering those dark days in much detail. My mind has blocked them out. But I do remember being convinced that I wasn't going to live."

And she expressed how grateful she was to have lived to see the end of the beloved fantasy series. 

"I'm so happy to be here to see the end of this story," she finished. "And the beginning of whatever comes next."